We’ve all been there before, sitting and reflecting on the disappointment we’re feeling caused by a friend or family member who didn’t show up for us in the way we’d imagined. You know, the same way that we feel like we’re constantly showing up for them. Every birthday, we make sure to gift them with a representation of our love. Every event we’re showing up and joyfully celebrating the cause. We’re genuinely excited about their successes and encourage them more than ever through their failures. Every trial and tribulation they go through we’re there to offer support. We love their kids like our own. Their family is held in the same loving regard as ours. So how could they not reciprocate the same expressions!???
In this moment of dispiriting reflection, you declare that you’re going to start treating others in same manner that they treat you! They don’t call you? Fine, you just won’t call them! They don’t come to your events? Fine, you just won’t go to theirs! They don’t tell you Happy Birthday? Fine, you just won’t tell them! They don’t congratulate you? No biggie, you just won’t congratulate them! They don’t support you? Cool, you’ll stop offering yours! It’s that simple!
Or is it…?
It’s human nature to feel slighted by friends or family who fall short of your expectations. But should you allow your opinion of their shortcomings to alter the nature of your spirit and the very essence of who you are as a person? If so, then it poses a question to your authenticity, and in this moment, you have to sit and ask yourself…Am I loving conditionally or unconditionally? Your true spirit and essence doesn’t waiver and doesn’t express based on whether or not it has received or will receive. It’s also forgiving because it holds “love” at the core.
Personally, I use to allow what was given or not given to me by others, whether it was time, attention, material things, or verbal or physical expressions, determine the value or importance that I must hold in their lives. And in return, I allowed it to dictate what I was willing to offer or what I felt like they “deserved” from me. But I realized that loving and expressing love with expectations of reciprocation, not only adds disappointment to your life when not received, but it adds stress, conflict, confusion, and doubt, amongst many other undesired emotions. So, I made a choice to let go of the expectations that I allowed to control and define the relationships with the people in my life.
The moment I decided that I was going to continue to act, and love, and do, and live, irregardless of what I received in return, is the moment I felt that I truly discovered the power my spirit holds and the connection it has to essence. I feel lighter than I did before. I feel happier, I feel more loving, I feel more spiritual, I feel more connected, and I can honestly say that I hold no attachments to defining my value to anyone.
So continue to let love flow from your spirit and let your essence and aura be a light. That alone holds more power to positive change than your display of resentment ever could.